Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
