hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
