Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
