We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
