...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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