How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
