Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
