Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
