We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
