oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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