dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
