Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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