trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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