I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
