i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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