First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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