Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
