So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
