That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
