who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
