she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
