did you get engaged???
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
