Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
