i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I have tasted many bathrooms
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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