I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Last time i carry you out of a forest
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
