My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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