even my farts smell like vagina
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
