Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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