Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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