mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It's just like the Real World with babies
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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