Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
