Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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