I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
