who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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