Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
