There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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