Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
