No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
