none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
