hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
