Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
