Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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