You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
