So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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