i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
