if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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