By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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