Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
