let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
