I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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