Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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