hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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